LIFESKILLS: 1,000,001-HOLLIS: 1 (Getting on the Board)
I have a confession to make...tools, hardware, and assembly of anything more complicated than having a pre-assembled piece of furniture has intimidated me. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I always had the luxury of being surrounded by people who are more adept at building and constructing, but finally it was time to put my skills to the test. After living without a desk for two months, which felt more like two years-I have never been relaxed or free-spirited enough to think while reclining on my bed or sofa, I had enough. On a beautiful Sunday, i.e. one without rain since we have been getting an inordinate amount since the beginning of September-this year is officially the seventh wettest year in New York history last time I listened to the news, and headed downtown on a quest for a desk.
What I failed to realize is that while New York may be the city that never sleeps, it is also the city where businesses refuse to open before noon. So there I was at 59th Street/Columbus Circle stranded in the awkward no man's land of time-it was pointless to go back up to my apartment since the trains do not run as regularly on the weekends. In other words by the time I got back up to my apartment I would have to turn right back around and come back down. Well the nice thing about New York is that there if you are ever bored, it is your own fault. Taking inspiration from Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's, I decided to meander down Fifth Avenue and admire the window displays at Bergdorf Goodman, Henri Bendel, and Louis Vuitton.
Finally, my phone clock showed that it was noon, and off I went to Pier1, confident that I would returning home within fifteen minutes along with my new desk and chair. Googlemaps has been my savior since it not only shows you how to get to your destination from your "current location", but it also shows you which trains to take, and the times that the trains depart. You can only imagine my surprise then when I arrived at my searched address...only there was no Pier1 in sight. Bewildered by how a Pier1 could be hiding in the city and convinced that my eyes were either deceiving me or that I finally need to break down and start actually wearing my glasses, I ducked into the closest DuaneReade Pharmacy-they do have everything after all.
Spotting a free pharmacist in the back, I approached her and quickly stated that I was looking for the Pier1 that I was certain was in the area. "Oh yeah" she said disinterestedly while curling the phone cord around her index finger, "this used to be a Pier1, until we bought it out last year." Not sure how to respond to that-either apologize for my stupidity, or go on a rant about how ineffective the internet is nowadays and how that information should have been updated by now-I opted for a third option, thanking her and going on my way.
This is where I learned that the best discoveries happen by accident. I tried a Staples, only to be informed that they don't sell desks-go figure, an office supplies store that doesn't have a desk. Call me crazy, but what's the point of selling a stapler or even scissors if you don't have anything to put them on? Anyways, as I was walking back to the subway a motorcade of at least fifteen Cadillac SUV's equipped with eight secret service men in each car poking their heads out of the rolled down, tinted windows, surveying the streets for any sign of a potential threat, stopped me from crossing Madison Avenue. Slightly annoyed, I tried to convey what an inconvenience this was to me by giving my meanest stink eye to the meaty body guard analyzing as if I could feasibly be a potential threat to whatever foreign dignitary was hidden in the group of cars like a prized red ball in the magic ball and cup trick.
In actuality it turned out to be a blessing in disguise since a glint off the stainless steel sign above the security guard's car caught my eye. Turns out it was a Crate & Barrel, and it was destined to be since the first desk I laid eyes on was the one I ended up purchasing. Unfortunately, there were none of my desks in stock at the store, so I had to wait for it to be delivered later in the week on Thursday while at work.
"Does this mean that I'm going to have to assemble it myself?" I inquired in what I hoped to be a nonchalant tone to the sales representative. "Yep" was the only reply I received. Recognizing that it was my apartment after all, it was time to grow up and dawn the tools. Before swiping my card to validate the purchase, I forced them to show me a copy of the instructions to ensure that the desk assembly was completely idiot proof. Feeling confident that this was something that I could handle, I bought it. I'll let you look at the pictures below to decide whether or not my assessment skills were accurate or not.
 |
| Step 1: Get materials out of the box |
 |
| Step 2: assemble |
 |
| Step 3: take a second to admire |
 |
| Step 4: add glass top and accessories |
